This poor blog has taken a big dive lately. Sorry.

I am all geared up and ready to homeschool this year. Back in May, I registered Hallie at the public school, just-in-case. Yesterday they called because she was 'absent'. It through me for a loop. I hadn't finished all the paperwork they sent me home with after registering her and I didn't send in confirmation of our address, which was a requirement, so I wasn't expecting them to call.

I felt kind of empty knowing that she was on a class list, had classmates, a teacher, a cubby, a desk and an opportunity. She was missing out on so much. Her teacher will know her name but never the chance to know who she is. Her cubby will be empty and the kids will just say "I wonder who Hallie is?"

I suddenly felt like I was keeping her from something. A heaviness came over me and I felt so inadequate. I felt like I was depriving her of something.

I dropped off our babysitters and busted through their door. My friend P, was sitting at her piano and I think I nearly ran her over as she turned around to see me. I couldn't keep the tears in. I begged her to tell me that she has felt the same way before and needed her to tell me that I wasn't going to 'screw Hallie up'

Paige had to say very little before I remembered all the reasons why we are homeschooling and here are just two quick ones (cuz my kids are needing breakfast and being really noisy)

- It's not about what she's loosing by not going to school, it's about what she's gaining by staying home (no time to list them all)

- I can't do it on my own but they great thing is, I don't have to and I'm not.
Philipians 4:13. I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me. Without Him I am nothing and with Him I can be all that I need to be.

- oh, and a third one cuz it's a biggy.... I feel called to do it. There are few things I can say that I've honestly felt "called" to do and homeschooling for this season is one of them and until I hear otherwise I will walk in obedience and enjoy the ride.

Seems like most of my homeschooling friends have started the year with a big "why we homeschool" post and I might get to that eventually too... but for today, I'm not going write more about it, I'm just going to do it and love it and let the Father carry me through.

Happy Father's Day!

Earlier in the week I had this feeling of emptiness.  Something was missing.  It didn't take me long, just a song a radio, to realize that I was desperately missing my Grandpa.  It's Fathers Day today!!!  There has been commercials, signs, advertisements all over the place to remind us of this very special day where we honor our dads.  I have a great step-dad.  Problem is, when he and my mom got married, I was to much of a little brat to let him actually be a father to me.   Fathers Day always reminds me of my Grandpa.  I could write a book about him and the wonderful example he was as a father, grandfather, friend, husband, and Christ follower. 

Here's a list of what I'm remembering today. 

Love
Joy
Peace
Patience
Kindness
Faithfulness
Goodness
Gentleness
Self-Control.

1 Corinthians 13:13 And now these three remain.  Faith. Hope. and Love.  and the greatest of these is Love. 

More on this later...I'm off to make my childrens father a yummy breakfast!!!

Memorial Box Monday

Hallie has always been a bit 'accident prone'.  Last June we were at the the Cardel showhome early on a Monday morning signing some papers for our new house.  The kids were behind us sitting on big leather chairs and feasting on timbits (one of my standby bribes).   We had been there for about 45 minutes and we suddenly heard a LOUD smash, followed by silence.  Chris and I quickly turned around and there was Hallie, laying on the tile floor.  The Cardel employee that was facing the direction of the kids said, "oh, she's been jumping from chair to chair".  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  Who allows that?  We certainly wouldn't have!!!   There wasn't any ice there or anything we could do to help her.  Chris had his own vehicle there because he was heading to work so I quickly signed what I had to and left with the kids.   I had just gotten them all buckled in the van and Hallie started to throw-up.  GROSS!!  There wasn't much I could do...I couldn't take her back into the brand new show up and they didn't have anything there to help clean her up anyways.  She had managed to get most of it into my Tim Hortons coffee cup thankfully.  I made sure she was *okay* and began to drive.  I only made it a block and a half and it started again.  There was no way I could make it through the 20 minute drive home with her getting sick.  So, I called our friend Ashley that lives two blocks from where we were and begged her to let us in for a bit until Hallie was done being sick.  We got into Ashleys and Hallie's head looked like it was about to split open.  The bump above her eye went all the way to the side of her head and was sticking out about and inch off her head. The skin looked like it was going to break open.  Ashley kindly offered to watch Raya and Theo so I could take Hallie to the walkin clinic.  There was already a huge wait as it was Monday morning.  The triage nurse took one look at the bump on Hallie's head and we were taken to a room right away.  The Dr. came to see her and decided she should be taken to the Childrens Hospital.  Ashley has a dayhome and had enough kids there without mine, I couldn't leave them there.  The Dr. let me leave on the basis that I would get her to the hospital as soon as possible otherwise he'd like her taken by ambulance.  A quick call to Chris and he was on his way back home.  He met me at our place and I was about to take Hallie to the hospital.  Well, she seemed to be going down hill a bit and I was nervous about her getting sick again.  She was feeling light headed and confused.  So, we called the ambulance.  She ended up suffering from her 3rd concusion.  :(   It took her a few weeks to recover completely.

this was a few days later

She seemed better for about 2 weeks and then started to get confused and forgetful.  She was getting really frustrated with herself.  Every SINGLE day since the 'incident' when I'd brush her hair over the left side of her head she'd say "OUCH".   I decided to take her back to the Dr before we left on holidays for Green Bay Bible Camp (one of the BEST places EVER).  He said she had what was called "Post Concusion Syndrome" and we could except this to last up to 3 years.  YIKES!

It came and went.  We were at Green Bay and she fell and became confused again.  It was really hard to watch her being so frustrated with herself.  Chris and I have met some wonderful people at GBBC.   Two of them being Mike and Candace.  We were instantly drawn to them our first year and last year we were able to spend more time with them.  They are an amazing couple, grounded in the Word and willing to let the Lord use them.  I had shared with Candace a bit about Hallie's situation.  She told me that she had recently suffered from a concusion as well and shared a bit about how frustrating it was for her, even as an adult.  She explained things to me that helped me to better understand how Hallie must have been feeling.  She had suffered from symptoms for quite a while until Mike and another fellow from their church prayed over her and she was healed!  What a MIRACLE!!!

At fireside that night, or maybe the next night, we were sitting with M&C.  When it was over, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said

"Hallie is healed! The Lord asked me to give my healing to her and I did.  I don't have to pray with her or lay hands on her, she's already healed!!!!!!"

WOW!!!  For the first few seconds I was stunned and in disbelief, how could this be?  I could see in her eyes how serious she was and I chose to BELIEVE!!

We went to bed thanking God (and Candace).  I was anxious for Hallie to wake up in the morning so I could see it for myself.  She woke up and seemed "normal" to both Chris and I.  The true test came when it was time to comb her hair.   I carefully grabbled the comb and began at the other side.  I worked my way around her head as I had for the past 2 months and this time she was SILENT!  Not a word!!  To this day, she still hasn't ever said "OUCH" or "That hurts".   She is healed!!!  

I can't wait until I feel the time is right to tell her this story. 

The item going in our Memorial Box to remind us of this gift given to us by our our Miracle-working, Mountain-moving, Awe-inspiring, Gasp-giving God will be a  

which will represent the bruise on her head that was healed first on the outside and then on the inside!!

Thank You Jesus!!