It was a LONG and SHORT night

Yesterday just wasn't good all around...I was exhausted and the girls were cranky. Chris had to work late and I was late for Awana.

I had a hard time being nice to my kids yesterday, let alone 30 other ones at Awana...but we survived!

At the end of Awana, Hallie was playing with some friends in one of the rooms and all of a sudden started crying uncontrolably. No one really saw what happened but apparently she had fallen on her head and then rolled on the carpet. She has carpet burn on her forehead and a really big bump.

She fell asleep on the way home in the van and when we got home Chris put her on our bed so we could keep an eye on her. She kept complaining that her head hurt. After about 5 minutes she fell asleep again and two minutes later, woke up puking....that was not good.

I decided to take her to emerg and while we were getting her ready, she fell asleep, woke up and puked again!

I got to the Urgent Care Centre which is quite close to us and there was a sign saying the average wait time was 3.5-4 hours. OUCH!

The triage nurse said that if she threw up again, there would be cause for concern. She fell asleep at the triage desk and when we got to the triage desk, she woke up and yup, you guessed it, puked AGAIN.

Needless to say, they fast tracked us and we only waited about 15 minutes to get a room. She fell asleep on me while we were waiting and when the nurse came in the room and tried to wake her up, It took about 10 minutes to wake her up and then it happened all over again. The nurse said "I'll make sure she's seen next". The Dr. came right away. Hallie was sleeping already so he woke her up. This time it took a long time too and as soon as she sat up, she started to throw up again....poor thing. It was really sad. He made her walk and do a few commands to make sure it wasn't more than a concusion. They gave her some medication at 10:10 and said they'd check on her at 11. She was still really out of it at 11 but because she hadn't seemed any more confused than when we had gotten there, they let us come home at 11:30 with instruction to wake her up at 2 and 5 for tylonel and to make sure she could wake up. Good thing the Dr. warned me not to get alarmed if she didn't wake right away because after 10 minutes of trying to wake your child that normally wakes easily is a bit scary. I'm so glad we didn't have to wait 4 hours.

Today she seems alot better, although not quite herself. The Dr. said it would take a few days.

So, for the few of you out there that think I'm wimpy for not wanting to stay by myself with the kids when Chris is gone next month...this is an example of why. I can't imagine having to take Raya with me last night and trying to chase her around while Hallie was puking everywhere and not able to stand up. I think it would be different if we had family close by that I could call in the middle of the night to come in case of a situation like this.

I have to say, I'm pretty tired today from being at the hospital late and then having to set my alarm for 2 and 5 and then Raya waking up at 7. Wish me luck....and rest today!

Emotional and Verbal Abuse....

• Why is it that our society more readily accepts this type of abuse when it is just as hurtful as any other type, including sexual?
• Why is it that people need to feel so trapped that they can't speak up against it? How long does it have to go on?
• Who's place is it to say something?
• What can be said?
• What can be done?
• Why do I allow my children to see it go on in the lives of people they love?
• At what point is ENOUGH, ENOUGH!!!!
• At what point is it unhealthy for my kids to be around negative influences that still love them and treat them well?
• When do I say to my kids "I know you love them but it's not okay for you to see them act a certain way" and how do I say it without hurting anyones feelings?
• When will the "abuser" start abusing my kids?
• Will I recongnize it in time?
• Will I ever be able to forgive myself if they end up getting hurt?
• Is the risk worth it?
• Why do the innocent good people get hurt and the abusers get away with it?
• How do I explain these negative actions/reactions/words to my kids?
• When will people stop justifying the negative and look for a solution?
• Who's responsibility is it to say "I'm not letting you do this anymore to the people that you love and that love you"?

It takes 100 positive friends/people for every negative friend/person in your life. Negative people bring you down faster than you can be brought back up.

I'm supposed to be working right now, but as you can tell, I have many things going through my head that I am wrestling with. It doesn't matter how much you love someone, there comes a time when your kids come first (the second they are born) and ties may need to be broken for a while for the sake of your children and the longterm affect it may have on them. The crappy part is.....the kids loose out either way!

It's a known fact that the negative influences/times in your life are more influencial than the positive. It will only take 1 time of being emotionally abused or treated poorly for my kids to be potentially ruined and I'm not willing to risk that!!!

If the problem was alcohol abuse I wouldn't let my children around a drunk.

If the problem was physical abuse I wouldn't let my children around someone who would possible hit them or hit and abuse others in their presence.

So why should/do I allow them to be around a "loose cannon" that can't always, or chooses not to, control their emotions, words and actions and continues to control and manipulate those around them.

It's a fine line and and an obvious line to draw all at the same time....so it's really hard. At what point does the "risk outweigh the reward"?

I have to say that emotional and verbal abuse is a touchy, ugly, subject and it's ruining the lives of people around me that I love SO much and I don't know what to do about it!