Worship

I've been spending alot of time 'worshipping' lately...on my own. I look up my friends blogs and most of us have music attached and I can't help but start to sing and eventually, I'm not even reading anymore...I'm in my office, with the door closed, fully worshipping the God I serve, my creator, defender, comfortor...my everlasting Father....no one else.

I struggle at church and often wish everyone was seperated into cubicles...imagine this....curtains going lenthwise and widthwise so each person would have their own little space. :) I know that people aren't really 'watching' each other but I often find myself wanting to 'let-go' when I'm worshipping... I want to raise my hands, or dance, or smile, or kneel, or weep...and it's hard for me to fully worship in a room full of people. It's intimate....between Christ and I....and I don't want to share it with others....much the same as I wouldn't want to be in a room full of people when Chris and I having our most intimate moments (whether it be conversation, holding, or anything else).

It's not uncommon for me to have my worship music cranked in the van and to be crying or singing my heart out...I love it!! I wish I had the same freedom at church on a Sunday morning without feeling so inhibitated.

Raya still wears pull-ups at night and lately has been having a few accidents during the day. Odd. I think it might be because she 'thinks' she is wearing a pull-up so she pee's and then clearly realizes that she isn't. A while ago (before Christmas) we discussed the idea of no more pullups and I told her that after 1 week of panties at bedtime she could pick out a toy. She chose Blue's Clue's Lego. Nothing ever came of it though, she insisted on pullups at bedtime and I didn't argue for a couple of reasons.

Well, yesterday after another accident, I said "No more pullups!!, You are a big girl and you are going to wear panties!" She was excited about it and wore panties to bed last night. She was still try at 4am when I checked her but she woke me up at 430 when she just couldn't hold it any longer. I did a quick bedding change and put a pullup on her....she said "I'm not a little, I'm a big girl!" I switched it to panties and she was good for the rest of the night!

This morning she said she wants to wear a pullup tonight...so I broke out the old bribe and said "but don't you want a new toy? and don't you want to be a big girl?"
She right away said "Ya, I can have Blue's Clue's Lego right mama?"
"Sure you can, or you can choose something else if you'd like"
there was a pause and then she said "I think I'll pick a new pack of PullUps!"
sigh

Makeover Madness

Today was my big "makeover day". I was so stressed about it last night. Yesterday was a "fat day" for me and I was not wanting to have my picture taken for a magazine today. When I was at the Posh Mommy store, I declined to buy the awesome blue cardigan that I was wearing with the outfit I ended up buying. Last night, I realized that the cardigan was a HUGE part of the outfit, in fact, probably my favorite piece of it....it's a toss up between the scarf or the cardi. It took me a while to realize that Satan was trying to 'steal my thunder'. I decided in my mind that this was supposed to be a happy, relaxing, fun thing and I shouldn't care what I look like. I'm a mom...I have rolls!

When I got to the spa this morning, I mentioned to Julie (the girl from the mag) that I realized yesterday that the cardigan was what really made the outfit for me. I told her "It's too bad I can't just borrow it for 1/2 an hour for the photo shoot". Posh Mommy is just down the street from the Spa and Julie knows the owner. It was only about an hour later and 'whola' I had the cardigan for the morning!!

The owner of the Spa was adament that there were no 'before' photos taken. He said that noone needs to look crappy in a photo. I was pleased :)

I didn't actually get the spa treatments today but they did 'stage' a few shots. It was still fun though.

I hadn't realized that Swizzle Sticks was going to color my hair as well as cut and style it! I had a great stylist, Emma. At the end, when I put my new, way to expensive, clothes on, Emma said "I love that cardigan!!!" Ya, her and I both. Julie told her there was one more at the store. Emma, ended up just buying the one I was wearing, over the phone with Posh Mommy! I was sad to give up the cardigan (insert pouting face here).

We headed outside for a few "after" shots. I'm really not good at those. I don't like to smile because my teeth are ugly and it felt weird to have someone shooting photos of me on a street corner.

I had to drive past Posh Mommy to get home and my van accidently pulled into the parking lot, my body got out, went inside, and purchased the cardigan. I just couldn't leave it! I had some birthday money still in my wallet and so I decided that today was as good of time as any to use it. I normally wouldn't buy something so expensive but I just feel so good in it and I'll be able to wear it with lots of things. I know I would have regretted not buying it. So, I spoiled myself today. And I guess I realized what I'd been hanging on to my birthday money for.

Here is a little 'storyboard' of the event that the photographer put together. Check out her website. She rocks!