Life's Not Fair

For a long time now I've wondered why as parents we feel this incredible need to make sure everything is "fair". I guess probably because in an 'ideal' world, everything would be "fair". When our kids are playing we say things like
"make sure you are fair"
"don't do that, it's not fair"
"do you think that was fair?"

Raya lately has been coming up to me when she's upset at one of her siblings or something I've done and she says "NO FAIR!" (which she can say quite well, I have to admit it1) I've started to respond with "Life's not Fair!"

I don't want to teach my kids that everything is about "fairness". I think I might be better off to teach them how to deal with life when it isn't "fair" to them.

I know my children aren't guinnea pigs, but I have been doing some experimenting with my theory :) I've been cutting their pizza in different sizes, pouring different amounts of chocolate milk etc.... of course in the end, they probably end up with an equal amount but it's the principle of teaching them how to react when they feel that they have been mis-treated. Sometimes you will get less, and sometimes you will get more. What is the proper way to react when you have less? what about when you have more and see that someone has less? It's opened alot of doors of communication and led to some good conversations and 'teachable moments' with them, especially Hallie.

I'd rather teach them about the lack of fairness right now when they are more 'teachable' rather than teach them only about fairness and have them leave the house at 18 and realize that LIFE ISN'T FAIR.

Of course, my goal for my children is that they treat others fairly, and it is one of our family rules, but I also want them to know how to react, respond and deal with life when it isn't fair.

The makeover

So, I really don't want to seem ungrateful but this makeover thing is turning out to be a bit of a pain. Initially, I was told to get ready for a "Day of Pampering" and to make sure I had the whole day free. Sounds great, doesn't it?? Well, they booked it for a Tuesday which is a little inconvenient because if I need the whole day, that would make for about 10 hours of babysitting while Chris is at work and ALOT of prep work since the kids need to get to and from school at certain times etc. So, it started to stress me.

Then, the lady from the magazine called (who is super duper sweet btw) to let me know that I actually wouldn't be getting my spa treatments on Tuesday. In fact, the spa is closed that day. I am just to show up at 9, looking normal/horrible, they will take my picture in various spa settings and then I will get my hair and makeup done, put on my new outfit from Posh Mommy and have a final "tada" photo. So, I had to go to Posh Mommy yesterday at 12:15 to pick out an outfit. The magazines photographer (who is also super duper sweet) came for a few minutes to snap a few pics. Then, a 'professional stylist' was on hand to help me pic out an outfit. I was given $300 to spend. Well.....that amount of money doesn't buy much. The jeans are all $250.00 and the tops average about $180.00. Yikes!!! So, it was a little stressful. I didn't want to spend any money...isn't that the point of WINNING something. I found it odd that it was impossible to get an outfit for that amount of money but that's all that they offered. I was expecting to be able to go whenever I wanted and to be able to buy whatever I wanted. Not be told that I needed an "outfit" to wear for the 'after' picture. So, I ended up spending $90 of my own money and then still having to go buy some shoes that the sylist recommended. I almost feel guilty owning these expensive "Joe's Jeans". How do people afford it? or justify it? The lady from the mag said "once you wear high end jeans, you'll never go back!" I don't have a choice but to go back. Our finances don't allow this type of thing and my heart/mind don't either to be quite honest. It wasn't even like I *loved* anything in there and wished for it. I honestly felt sick to my stomach that people honestly think that these clothes are worth that much money. I'll still have to tip for my haircut and spa treatments so after all is said and done, I'll have had to pay about $250 of my own money to win a package valued at $1000.00. Seems like a good deal, but if you don't really have the $250.00 ($90 at posh mommy, $40 shoes, $75 tips-because they expect 15-20%, $45 in babysititng) it's not such a deal. Chris has to stay home a bit in the morning and then the kids will have a couple of my friends to watch them from 10-2, when I get back.

AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

It's been frustrating. I'm trying to just enjoy it because I never win and a spa treatment will be awesome (when I finally get there). The personal fitness sessions will hopefully be good too. At one point yesterday, while at Posh Mommy, the owner said to me "You need to spoil yourself" to which I replied "One needs to have money in order to spoil themselves". Some people just don't get what it's like to earn a lower salary and live within your means.

Well, I'll be sure to blog about how everything goes on Tuesday. Hopefully I'll just be able to relax and have fun and enjoy it since I never win and everyone means well. It's not the magazines fault that we don't have the extra money to put in to it. I just stress and loose sleep over stupid things!!!

And when the magazine publishes the article, I'll post the link.

Grand Prize Winner?

I subscribe to a magazine called "Birth of a Mother" and last week they emailed a contest for a "Mommy Makeover". To enter you had to tell them in 100 words why you thought you deserved to win. I just quickly made up a poem and sent it in. After I had sent it, I was quite embarrassed because I should have taken the time to look it over and think about it...it could have been SOOOO much better.

Well, I guess they loved it because I won!!! Here is what I won:


From Swizzlesticks Salon & Spa: 1 x Caribbean Manicure and Pedicure 1 x Aroma Wellness Massage OR Aroma Wellness Facial 1 x Shampoo, Condition, Cut, Style and Finish
1 x Make-up Consultation and Application

From Posh Mommy: $300 Gift Card and Style session with Personal Stylist Kim Flanagan to pick out a new outfit

From Milestones Grill & Bar: $75 Gift Certificate

From Fit Mom: 8 Personal Training Sessions

From bo bébé: $150 Gift Basket

From Shooligans: 1 pair of Robeez soft soles, 1 pair of Squeaky Shoes

Here is a copy of my ridiculous poem that will now be published in the magazine...how horrifying...oh well...at least I'll look good :)


I am a busy mom of three
and barely have time to pee.

I shower at night, (so I can do it alone)
and spare them all from the fright.

I work from home to earn extra money
and rarely get to spend time with my honey.

With a kindergartner, a preschooler and a toddler
…put on clean clothes? why even bother?

With a pony on top, and baggy pants on the bottom
It’s a wonder they have style with all I’ve taught ‘em.

My friends don’t dare laugh, we’re all the same way
I’d rather spend time with my kids than get ready all day.

Someday I’ll spend money on myself
I just keep waiting to loose my ‘muffin top’ shelf.

I love my kids, wouldn’t trade this for the world
But a day of pampering sounds like the best thing I’ve heard!


Now I just have to find someone to watch the kids on Tuesday!

Oh, and if you have little ones and don't subscribe to the magazine you should!!!!