Yesterday the girls and I came to Lethbridge so that they could see their grandparents and cousins. We haven't been here since Christmas and didn't have any plans to come until mid-March or April. Hallie has been asking to come alot over the past few days so we decided it would be good for me to bring them.

I had a great drive down with them. They both slept for a good part of it and it allowed me to listen to MY music and have downtime and time to think. I listened to a song called "Eternity" and it has HUGE meaning for me. When my grandpa was in the hospital I would listen to this song all the way to the hospital and all the way home each time I went to visit. I was usually weeping the entire time but it was so peacefull and made me very sad for myself and really excited for my grandpa. I reminisced about some of the wonderful times we had together and what a great man he was. I have to admit that coming to Lethbridge isn't the same without him being here even though I didn't see him everytime we came.

Listening to this song yesterday brought me to do this excerise...TRY IT.

Imagine yourself for a minute in your "happiest place and your most happiest moment with the people that make you the happiest".

Now, once you have that scenario in your mind imagine how much better that place would be if you had no TEARS! Nothing to cry about...nothing at all. Anything that makes you cry, remove it from your world for a minute.

Now, also take away anything in this world that causes you or has ever caused you PAIN. You are in your "happiest place" with no tears or pain. Imagine what that would be like. If you could live in this situation forever with no tears or pain at all.

Next, take away anything that brings FEAR to your life. For me, that is things like loosing my husband, never seeing my children again, not being good enough, being unfairly judged... To live without those feelings in the back of my mind would be so freeing!

Lastly, imagine your life without the tears, the pain, the fears and the SHAME. Remove anything from your mind that has ever caused you shame of anykind.

What an incredible feeling that will be....and that my friends, is where my Grandpa is. In his happiest place with as much joy as he has every felt in his entire life without tears, pain, fears or shame!!!!

NO more tears,
NO more pain,
NO more fears, and
No more shame
for we will be with You
yes, we will be with You!!!

As much as I love my life right now, it is NOTHING compared to what Heaven is going to be like. It's hard to imagine that.

As I was listening to this particular song, on repeat, and yes, crying yesterday I was thinking of all the things I will leave behind when it is my turn to go to Heaven to spend Eternity with God in a perfect place. It was a great excercise to go through as it made me realize how much I have to be thankful for RIGHT NOW and how incredibly blessed I am.

Here a few things that I have:
a loving husband
two amazing children
a miracle inside of me
a sister who listens all the time
parents that love me
a great job
an incredible amount of great friends
a church where we are comfortable
a nice house in an insane market
people that pray for me and my family
and most of all...I am learning to find CONTENTMENT and it's a great feeling!

John Wesley said a great quote that has been on my mind over the past couple of weeks and I wonder if it was one of my Grandpas favorites, even though I don't even know if he knew of it.

"Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can."

Things I like:

Bailey's Milkshakes in the summertime
Fresh baked cookies with milk in a red tupperware cup
The smell and feel of fresh warm clean laundry
The words "double double"
The hot sun on my legs
Hearing my kids laugh
Feeling a baby move inside me
A friendly voice on the other end of the phone
The smell of fresh cut grass
The secure feeling I get if I allow myself to totally relax in my husbands arms
Massages and Pedicures
A clean house
Company
Hotdogs with chilli and cheese (you don't want to know how many of these I have eaten this month)
Hugs and Kisses from my girls
5 cent candies while watching a movie
Stretchy maternity pants during the holidays
Watching my kids sleep
Coming home after being away for a few days

Things I don't like:

The smell of Chris's hockey bag
Temper Tantrums
Judgemental people
Food that has gone moldy
When the house looks messy after cleaning all day
Movie Theatres
Banff Hot Springs (it's like bathing with 150 strangers)
The smell of burnt popcorn
Having to repeat myself
Peeing 9 times/night
Winter
Cereal after it's been sitting too long
Greedy people

A not so proud moment, and a very proud moment

I took the girls to the dollar store today and whenever we go I give Hallie $1 to pick out whatever she wants. I try not to direct her towards certain things but to allow her to make her own decision (even though it's hard somedays...like today!) She usually ends up choosing a chapstick but today it was a whole different ball game. The girl insisted upon having a (get ready Uncle Jesse, you are going to be so proud!) WHOPPEE CUSHION. I didn't explain to her what it was but I did tell her she probably wouldn't like it once we got it home and out of the package.

So, we get in the house and I open it up. I put it on the floor and Hallie is saying "what does it do, what does it do". I told her to sit on it and she did. It made a big noise and she lost it!! She thought it was the most hilarious thing in the world. She said "did you hear it fart (sorry nana!) Mom, that is so funny, I can't wait until my dad gets home to try it" She has been playing with it all afternoon and hysterically laughing everytime. She already has big plans to take it to Lethbridge with her next time. She is quite certain that Uncle Stinky and Grandpa will like it :)

On to the super proud moment of the day:

I was putting Hallie to bed and she said
H "When will I get to see Jesus Mom?"
M "When you get to heaven"
H "When do I get to heaven?"
M "After you die, then you will go to Heaven and Jesus will be there?"
H "When is that mom?"
M "I don't know Hal, God gets to decide"
and then she replied, really loudly and with tears in her eyes, waving her hands,
H "but I just can't wait to meet Jesus mommy, I can't wait!"
M "I'm sorry honey but we don't get to pick when we get to meet him"
H "but I love him"
by this time Chris was in the room and said
D "then tell him"
so Hallie shouts
H "I love you Jesus!"

I was nearly in tears and then she said
H "When will I get to see God, I want to see all 3 of them?"
M "You will see God when you get to heaven too?"
H "but I need to talk to Him!"
M "you can talk to Him anytime you want, that's what we do when we pray"
H "but when will He talk back to me"
D "why don't you ask Him?
H "God, when will you talk to me?" she said loudly.
There was a really long silence and she said
H "God said he will talk to me whenever I want"

Then she fell asleep....how precious. If only we all could have faith like a child!