Worship

I've been spending alot of time 'worshipping' lately...on my own. I look up my friends blogs and most of us have music attached and I can't help but start to sing and eventually, I'm not even reading anymore...I'm in my office, with the door closed, fully worshipping the God I serve, my creator, defender, comfortor...my everlasting Father....no one else.

I struggle at church and often wish everyone was seperated into cubicles...imagine this....curtains going lenthwise and widthwise so each person would have their own little space. :) I know that people aren't really 'watching' each other but I often find myself wanting to 'let-go' when I'm worshipping... I want to raise my hands, or dance, or smile, or kneel, or weep...and it's hard for me to fully worship in a room full of people. It's intimate....between Christ and I....and I don't want to share it with others....much the same as I wouldn't want to be in a room full of people when Chris and I having our most intimate moments (whether it be conversation, holding, or anything else).

It's not uncommon for me to have my worship music cranked in the van and to be crying or singing my heart out...I love it!! I wish I had the same freedom at church on a Sunday morning without feeling so inhibitated.

Raya still wears pull-ups at night and lately has been having a few accidents during the day. Odd. I think it might be because she 'thinks' she is wearing a pull-up so she pee's and then clearly realizes that she isn't. A while ago (before Christmas) we discussed the idea of no more pullups and I told her that after 1 week of panties at bedtime she could pick out a toy. She chose Blue's Clue's Lego. Nothing ever came of it though, she insisted on pullups at bedtime and I didn't argue for a couple of reasons.

Well, yesterday after another accident, I said "No more pullups!!, You are a big girl and you are going to wear panties!" She was excited about it and wore panties to bed last night. She was still try at 4am when I checked her but she woke me up at 430 when she just couldn't hold it any longer. I did a quick bedding change and put a pullup on her....she said "I'm not a little, I'm a big girl!" I switched it to panties and she was good for the rest of the night!

This morning she said she wants to wear a pullup tonight...so I broke out the old bribe and said "but don't you want a new toy? and don't you want to be a big girl?"
She right away said "Ya, I can have Blue's Clue's Lego right mama?"
"Sure you can, or you can choose something else if you'd like"
there was a pause and then she said "I think I'll pick a new pack of PullUps!"
sigh