My blogging seemed to have taken a break from when we sold our house and moved in with friends. Chris and I have been SO blessed by so many people over the past few months including Roland and Nadine who let our family invade theirs for 5 months! It had it's high's and low's and took some adjusting too, that's for sure. We came away from that experience feeling completely cared for by God. The Plett's allowed God to use them to bless us. We learned alot about how another family built on faith 'does life'. It's incredible.
We have been in our new home for a week now. I still can't believe this home is ours. Hallie will tell you that "Cardel built our house but our family makes it a HOME". It's so fantastic. The kids are sleeping well, it's tidy, it's peaceful, and it's ours. Now, what does God want us to do with it? (I'm coming back to that in a bit)
Homeschooling is going fantastic. It's working way better for us than I ever thought it would. It's still going to be a year by year, child by child, decision and I couldn't even begin to tell you what we'll do next year but what I do know is that it was the right decision for this year to keep Hallie home.
Raya has many up and down days still. She has a great team working with her this year. I really believe that she is 'complete' in God's world and she is who He made her to be. We are just on the road to finding out exactly what life looks like for her so that we can be the best parents we can be. She has some blood work and an MRI coming up on Dec 15.
Theo is your typical two year old boy and he is full of T-R-O-U-B-L-E! I LOVE the stage that he is at right now. It's alot of working following him around to make sure that he's *safe* but he's just so FUN!!! He loves to dance, hide, throw balls, wrestle, bug his sisters and eat!
Chris is really busy right now at work. It's Operation Christmas Child time!!! It's hard for me to be cranky about him working overtime when I know it's for such a great reason!
Now for me.... I am really enjoying having a house again and being me....but I do miss having a friend around throughout the day too!
On a very deep personal note...ever since we bought this house I've had a strong feeling that God wants more from me. If you go back and read here you'll see that the feeling started right away. Since then I few things that have happened to prepare me for *something*. I'll share some of them.
1.) We had a great time at Green Bay Bible Camp this past summer. A long story short, a complete stranger came over to us at the end of evening fireside one night. Chris and I were praying with friends and this guy came over and asked us to stand up. He put his hands on us and started praying about things that only Chris and I know. It was one of the craziest most powerful moments of my life. God had spoken to him about us and he had some very incredible words to share. I can't even really describe it but it was such an amazing intimate moment.
2.)I had a really crazy night back in October. I honestly thought that I wasn't going to make it through the night. I woke up early in the night with a feeling that God was telling me to 'Let Go, Nikki, I've got it all taken care of'. I would close my eyes and all I could see was WHITE. I didn't want to 'let go'. I woke Chris up and told him that I thought I was going to die and that he needed to know I loved him and that he had to tell the kids. I had the hardest time closing my eyes. I was so peaceful and relaxed and content but I was afraid I wouldn't wake up again. Hard to describe. At the end of it all, after processing all that went on, I came to realize that God was telling me to release my fears and inhibitions...He has my kids taken care of, with or without me. He has MY BACK. I am nothing without HIM. Since this night, I've not been afraid of much. I used to worry so much about 'what if'. Well, now my answer to 'what if?" is GOD'S GOT MY BACK.
3.) I'm not content. I know God wants more from me. I'm not okay living the life I'm living. No doubt, I love this life but it's not enough. I know that God is calling me to more. (I'm using the term *me* instead of *us* because I'll leave it up to Chris to tell you about his feelings on all of this when he's ready). I have a very good idea of what it is and it's not something I EVER thought would become a part of my life. I'm restless...I want more...more of God...more of something other than myself and this culture that I live in. I am being drawn to and just randomly ending up at many many blogs and websites lately and they all have one thing in common.... coincidence?? nope!
I have to admit that I'm enjoying being in this 'uncomfortable' stage. God is changing my heart and it feels SOOOO good. I cry and cry and long and long. I can't help but want more. The pieces of the puzzle are slowly coming together. One day the puzzle will be complete and my life will look different. I'm hoping it comes without judgement from others but I know it won't. Some will be on board and show their support and encouragement, others will think we're crazy and won't understand....but I'll know we are laying our lives at the feet of Jesus and walking in obedience to what He is asking us to do....and isn't that what matters most :)
