This poor blog has taken a big dive lately. Sorry.

I am all geared up and ready to homeschool this year. Back in May, I registered Hallie at the public school, just-in-case. Yesterday they called because she was 'absent'. It through me for a loop. I hadn't finished all the paperwork they sent me home with after registering her and I didn't send in confirmation of our address, which was a requirement, so I wasn't expecting them to call.

I felt kind of empty knowing that she was on a class list, had classmates, a teacher, a cubby, a desk and an opportunity. She was missing out on so much. Her teacher will know her name but never the chance to know who she is. Her cubby will be empty and the kids will just say "I wonder who Hallie is?"

I suddenly felt like I was keeping her from something. A heaviness came over me and I felt so inadequate. I felt like I was depriving her of something.

I dropped off our babysitters and busted through their door. My friend P, was sitting at her piano and I think I nearly ran her over as she turned around to see me. I couldn't keep the tears in. I begged her to tell me that she has felt the same way before and needed her to tell me that I wasn't going to 'screw Hallie up'

Paige had to say very little before I remembered all the reasons why we are homeschooling and here are just two quick ones (cuz my kids are needing breakfast and being really noisy)

- It's not about what she's loosing by not going to school, it's about what she's gaining by staying home (no time to list them all)

- I can't do it on my own but they great thing is, I don't have to and I'm not.
Philipians 4:13. I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me. Without Him I am nothing and with Him I can be all that I need to be.

- oh, and a third one cuz it's a biggy.... I feel called to do it. There are few things I can say that I've honestly felt "called" to do and homeschooling for this season is one of them and until I hear otherwise I will walk in obedience and enjoy the ride.

Seems like most of my homeschooling friends have started the year with a big "why we homeschool" post and I might get to that eventually too... but for today, I'm not going write more about it, I'm just going to do it and love it and let the Father carry me through.