Raya's 1st Birthday

We celebrated Raya's 1st birthday this past weekend in Lethbridge and it was so much fun. We rented a hotel room...a big hotel room...at the Ramada. There is a great wave pool there with waterslides and a little kiddie pool as well. The plan was for my sisters family to join us there on Saturday night for swimming and then my parents would come with Chinese food for afterwards. Chris's sister Bev and Jason's girlfriend (i love that!) Becky decided in the afternoon that they would like to join in on the action and then a big surprise was that Chris's other sister Barb and her newly wedded husband (i love that too!) Ryan showed up! So, Raya had 3 aunts and two uncles there to celebrate with. Hallie thought that was the best!! We had chinese food, ate cake and opened gifts. The girls slept really well after swimming.

On Sunday, we celebrated with Chris's family which included a great roast beef dinner, cheesecake, blackforest cake and a toast "To Raya"! I opened gifts on her behalf as she was sleeping for most of the afternoon :)

My mom's camara has most of the good pictures...or at least I hope it does. I have a few though.

This is Raya's cake right after I finished making it before doing some final touch ups. I stole the idea from Chris's cousin Val.

My mom (abuela) with Raya at the pool

An unflattering family shot....I hope my mom has a better one :)

Daddy and Raya...check out that Farmers Tan!!

On a more serious note...today went by quite well for me. I have to say that I shed quite a few tears this morning as I remembered that it was a year ago today that the Lord allowed Raya to be recessitated. I remember taking Hallie in to the ICU to see Raya when she was intubated and had all the IV's etc because the nurses recommended that we should allow Hallie to see Raya before she was taken to the Foothills in case she didn't make it. I didn't want Hallie to see Raya like that but the staff at the hospital encouraged us to do it so that we would have a memory if things didn't turn out as we were hoping. They took two pictures and Hallie slept with one of them until Raya came home. Raya obviously made the trip to the Foothills and then back to the Rockyview and then soon after she came home. She is such a blessing to us and I am and will be forever grateful for both my girls.

Raya had her 1 year check up at the pediatricians office today. She weighs 19 lbs 7 oz and is just over 27 inches long. Hallie at one year was 18 lbs 4 oz and was 26.5 inches long. So, Raya is just a little bit ahead of her!!!

The past few days

Hallie had a play date with her friend Ethan yesterday. They are so good together. They play "Dora and Diego"...it's so funny. Speaking of Dora (and the map), Hallie told me on Tuesday that in order to get to mom and tots "we have to go to the van, through timmy hortons and that's how we get to mom and tots!" I think I may go there a little to often!!




Raya enjoyed her first popsicle yesterday. It felt great on those teething gums. She still only has two teeth.





Hallie helped me make Raya's cake last night. This is a picture of the incomplete project. It is now finished and in the freezer, awaiting it's trip to Lethbridge tonight. Hopefully it makes it. We are celebrating Raya's birthday tomorrow night at a hotel in Lethbridge with my family so the kids can all go swimming and then again on Sunday with Chris's family at his parents house. I'll post pictures when we get home!

Surviving the next few days...

Well, it has been a while since I posted. We haven't taken many pictures lately and that has to change! Hopefully soon I will have something worth posting.

The past few days have been really hard for me as we look upon Raya's first birthday which is coming up on Monday. I am an emotional person and these milestone dates make me reflect back to why we celebrate (christmas, easter, birthdays, weddings etc). I am the type of person that looks back at what I was doing the year before at this exact moment and relive it in my mind. I am trying not to do that right now but I am constantly fearing reliving Raya's birth and first fews days. I try not to think about it but I can't get it out of my mind. It is supposed to be such a happy time right now but to be honest my heart is aching. I still can't even look at pictures of her in the hospital without shaking and crying. It was the hardest time of my life and while the turn out was an amazing miracle it is really hard to reflect on still. I have incredible feelings of guilt that creep up on me because I wasn't beside her 24/7 when she was so helpless. I know she doesn't remember but I can't fight the feelings sometimes. It was so hard to watch her with all the tubings and iv's and to leave her bedside to come home was heart wrenching. We didn't ever know what we would come in to the next morning. Would she be worse, or better?? Thankfully we had more of the betters but the times when she had dropped left were hardly bearable. Leaving the hospital was never pleasant but having to put on a happy face for Hallie so she wouldn't worry was nearly equally hard. My mind keeps replaying the things that the neonatalogist had told me the morning after Raya was born when she had to be recessitated. I don't know how I survived that converstation on my own. Hearing that my babys blood vessels closed and that she turned bright blue and had to be recessitated, that she was now intubated and I couldn't see her.....God was obviously very present and gave me faith to manage. I remember our pastor sitting beside me and after praying for Raya saying that if it was a life or death situation Raya wouldn't be here, she would be transferred to the Foothills if her life was in danger. And then minutes later, seeing the neonatologist come in to tell me they were taking Raya to the Foothills. I also remember leaving her at night and coming in the next day to find her all packaged up and being sent back to the Rocky View. I remember them saying it would be at least 10 days before she could come home and then 3 days later leaving the parkade with her in the back of the van! GOD IS SOOOO GOOD!
I think that Raya's birthday will always be hard for me but hopefully it will get easier as the years go on. Don't get me wrong, I am very HAPPY and GRATEFUL and that is why I am having a hard time with these feelings. I should be jumping for joy and hopefully when Monday May 29,2006 comes I will look to the future and not the past!

Thank you to all of you that were there for us when this was going on. Your prayers pulled us through it and we felt incredibly loved in the process.

Abuela- you came up to stay with Hallie and were a HUGE support for us. You cleaned and cooked and played. You encouraged us and stood by our decisions. You were our cook, nanny, housekeeper and errand runner.
Abuelo-you came up to meet our precious angel the moment you heard she was born
Auntie Cheremi and Uncle James- you came for the birth, you cleaned my house, you called every day to make sure I was okay, you cried with me, you prayed for us and you loved us
Uncle Jesse and Auntie Natasha- you supported us in prayer and sent flowers to brighten our home
Grandma and Grandpa Nieboer- you came to help and do whatever you could to make life easier. You took care of Hallie and made dinners for us...not to mention the prayers
Auntie Barb and Uncle Ryan- you cleaned all of our carpets!!!!!! and prayed your hearts out
Auntie Bev- you came to help during my postpardum depression...thank you thank you...and you helped potty train Hallie.

The rest of you, including our friends and church family, did amazing things as well. We didn't have to cook for a month, we received gifts for both kids, some of you watched Hallie for us and others encouraged and prayed for us...too many things to mention. THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO SUPPORTED US!

She's Mastered the Art of Stairs

If we can't find Raya we know where to look....she is heading upstairs to experience some freedom. She loves to climb the stairs and is really good at it. She hasn't fallen....yet, although I am really nervous about it. We have gates at the top of the stairs but not in the basement so it's wide open for her to climb. Perfect for a monkey like her.







Like the teeth!! More on the way.



She fooled me the other day and was hiding in the entertainment unit...Man, we had it easy with Hallie.